This just might be the funniest YouTube clip that someone that has sent me in a long time (DJ Brainchild hit me on AIM w/ this doozy).  I don’t know when this was made or where it came from, but it’s obviously some kind of instructional video on how to “dance hip-hop” and “be hip-hop”…taught by some middle-aged Caucasian woman and three miscellaneous equally Caucasian teenagers.  It’s flattering and delusional all at the same time.  Everything Is Terrible did a great job editing all the best parts and dialogue into a 3-minute laughfest.  I swear I want to find the full video of this.  I’ll spend whatever for it.

My sincerest apologies at the flagrantly late delivery of the newest Gordon Gartrell Radio podcast.  This was originally released on Wednesday, March 17th (one of their classic “huuuuump daaaaaaaay” editions).  Due to the fact that I’m working two demanding jobs at the moment (one freelance, one part time), the blog updates are suffering a little.  But nevertheless, the topics on this are still pretty relevant and the music (provided by DJ Brainchild) is timeless.  You can grab the tracklist and download link down yonder.  What else is in store for this one, you ask?

Phonte breaks the myth of sexism in the music industry, explains why he’s ‘old and over it’ in regards to discussing hip-hop, and why bad music is like gay porn.

Ty – “Emotions”
Little Brother – “Curtain Call”
Adriana Evans – “Never Thought”
Jimetta Rose – “Constellations”
Consequence f/ Common & Talib Kweli – “It’s G.O.O.D. Music”
Electric Wire Hustle – “Gimme That Kinda”
DOOM – “The Green Whore Net”
Freddie Joachim – “Out of Season”
Mos Def – “Mathematics”
Freeway & Jake One – “One Foot In”
J Rawls & Middle Child – “Thankful”
HomeMade f/ Mar – “Settle For”
D.Black f/ Vitamin D – “Keep On Going”
Teedra Moses – “Kisses Never Taste So Sweet”
The Luv Bugz – “Better”
The Roots – “Choir Fire”
Slum Village – “CB4″
Digable Planets – “Nickel Bags”
Pete Rock – “Fairground”
fLako – “Dwarf Dance”
Yahzarah – “Why Dontcha Call Me No More”

DOWNLOAD | DJ Brainchild & Phonte – Gordon Gartrell Podcast Episode #17

Gordon Gartrell Radio took a very long and much-needed vacation.  DJ Brainchild and Phonte  both had some real life errands and priorities to attend to.  But they heard your cries.  You were lacking something in your own lives.  Worry no more.  Episode 16 is in full effect and here for your listening pleasure.  Now your iPods are a little more complete.  A few poignant topics get touched as well:

Phonte discusses his first Grammy nod, Tiger Woods’ biggest mistake, the end of Little Brother and Satan’s horrible taste in music.

Jay Electronica – “Exhibit C”
Op Swamp 81 – “Fasho”
The Clonious f/ Muhsinah – “One At A Time”
Sister Nancy – “Bam Bam” (ReEdit & Weep)
Keyel – “Mary Jane”
Bilal – “Had 2 Cut Corners” (live)
Mr. Scruff – “Travelogue”
Portformat – “Bionic Arms”
Freddie Joachim – “Circles”
The Earl – “Live in Technicolor”
FS Green – “Rusty Beat”
SirOJ – “Dirty Funk”
J*DaVeY -”Get Together”
Trus’Me f/ Amp Fiddler – “Can We Pretend”
Quadron – “Simili Life”
The Jackson Sisters – “I Believe In Miracles”
Fatback Brother Bill Curtis – “Dance Girl”
The Randy Watson Experience – “The Dark”
Daru & Rena – “4You’reLuv”
Doggy Style Allstars – “Unfucwitable”
Slum Village – “2U4U”
I.N.T. – “Wannago”
Little Brother – “Whatever You Say” (demo)

DOWNLOAD | DJ Brainchild & Phonte – Gordon Gartrell Podcast Episode #16

It seems like the folks over at The Muppets Studio have a lot of time on their hands these days.  But I’m not complaining in the least.  This took me back to my childhood and made me smile.  Ladies and gentlemen, behold The Muppets (damn near every single one in existence, probably) as they cover Queen’s magnum opus “Bohemian Rhapsody.”  The Animal part made me literally LOL.  Wayne’s World has NOTHING on this.  RIP to Freddie Mercury and Jim Henson.

Right back like they left somethin’, Gordon Gartrell Radio has hit their 15th episode today.  By now you should know what to expect.  DJ Brainchild puts you on to some fairly new, under-the-radar tunes (see the tracklist below) and Phonte interjects in between sets with his Southern-fried outlook on current events.  On this one, Tay gives his take on the Nas/Kelis fiasco, welcomes back Michael Vick, and explains why the average Black person doesn’t care about dogs.

B. Bravo – “Midnite”
Method Man & Redman = “Dangerous MCees” (Cookin’ Soul remix)
Che Grand f/ Tanya Morgan – “People Bowling”
Mos Def f/ Slick Rick – “Auditorium”
DJ Mitsu the Beats f/ Elzhi – “Get ‘Em Up”
Amerie – “Why R U”
KanKick – “I’m Going To Take U Out To Dinner”
GB – “Dealer Dog”
Morgan Zarate – “Satin White”
Kenlo – “Pont”
Jay Dee – “Come Get It”
Freddie Joachim – “Silent”
Raheem DeVaughn f/ Young Chris – “Wanna Love You”
Slum Village f/ Marsha Ambrosius – “Cloud 9″
DJ Spinna f/ Phonte & Yahzarah – “Guaranteed”
Reggie B – “Spirtual Fi”
Zo! & Asylum 7 f/ Metasyons, Finale & Buff1 – “The Line-Up”
Karriem Riggins – “I Want You”
Byron The Aquarius f/ Daru & Da Button Pusha – “Repetitive”
Lunice – “This Time”
Onra – “My Comet”
Floyd The Locsmif – “Fuzzy Navel”
AFTA-1 – “Flor Y Uva”
Nicolay f/ Carlitta Durand – “Lose Your Way”

DOWNLOAD | DJ Brainchild & Phonte – Gordon Gartrell Podcast Episode #15

If you have Tanya Morgan‘s Brooklynati album (and if you don’t by now, shame on you), then you’re very familiar w/ what I’m about to present to you.  Nothing I say can top the press release I recieved along with the video:

HARDCORE GENTLEMEN is a early-mid 1990s rap group consisting of group members RAPZ KAOTIC, REEFER SUTHERLAND and KILLAH SILK. The group was based in Brooklynati, USA and saw great success with their classic and only single “HARDCORE GENTLEMEN” (DJ Jurx Records, 1994). Unfortunately, after selling a platinum single and a gold album (RUGGED & SMOOTH, DJ Jurx Records, 1994) their follow-up single, “BRUSH YA TEEF WIT IT” fell on deaf ears and led to the group’s destiny of being one-hit-wonders.

Immediately following the release of their hit-single “HARDCORE GENTLEMEN” and in promotion of their debut LP, Hardcore Gentlemen toured the United States and parts of Canada, but ended the tour abruptly when group member KILLAH SILK was slapped with 14 paternity suits from 13 different women. A State Court jury ruled in favor of the plaintiffs and the rap group was forced to return home and try to maintain their momentum doing local gigs in Brooklynati. After the lack of success surrounding their touring efforts, the group faded into obscurity and is remembered only for their successful, self-titled single. They are regularly revisited on countless “Where Are They Now?” television shows profiling hip-hop acts.

So where are they now? In May of 2009, Hardcore Gentlemen attempted to do a 15-year anniversary show celebrating their classic and only single. The plan was to headline a show at Humphrey Lefty’s and to perform their hit 15 times in a row. Tragically, during the 5th performance of “Hardcore Gentlemen” the group became entangled in a fight on stage, resulting in a drawn firearm by one of their hypemen. Shots were fired, and while nobody was killed, two of the group’s three members (RAPZ KAOTIC and REEFER SUTHERLAND) were arrested and are currently facing charges for concealing a weapon and endangering minors.

In order to understand the video in question, you have to watch the above first.  This was Drake’s first time meeting Funkmaster Flex at New York’s very own Hot 97 (the #1 radio station in the country) and the “freestyle” he kicked live on the air.  He received a ton of criticism after this video was uploaded, showing him blatantly reading a verse off of his Blackberry.  I’m not one of those folks who’s gonna be a stickler for whether someone kicked a written rap or something off the top of the head.  But when you actually read something off of a portable device, that is kinda flaky.

Enter Affion Crockett (a funny-ass stand up comedian, most recently of MTV’s Wildin’ Out fame).  Put on some fake bushy eyebrows and hold a Blackberry in front of a mic…BAM!  Instant Drake!  I must admit that this was hilarious (funniest thing since the Wayne / Juelz spoof).  All of the extra ad libbing / banter in the beginning had tears rolling down my face.  And I’m actually a Drake fan. 

Shouts to Belle Jenkins, where I saw this first.

Alot of folks say Jimmy Fallon isn’t that funny and that he shouldn’t have taken over Conan’s spot when Conan left for Hollywood.  I tend to disagree.  I think he’s kinda hilarious (I bought his SNL Best Of DVD and everything).  And when you add fellow SNL alum-turned-Hollywood-heavyweight Will Ferrell into the mix, it’s bound to be absolute nonsense.  Just like Let Us Play With Your Look. 

This skit aired last night and I literally was hanging off of my couch for dear life with tears rolling down my face.  It’s just one of those bits that starts off on course, takes an unexpected left turn and makes absolutely no sense in the end.  Genius writing.

I hereby proclaim this one of the BEST viral videos of 2009, hands down. And the year is only halfway over.  From what I can tell, in promotion of Hammer’s new reality show (what the hell took him so long?), A&E hired a bunch of professional dancers (and some semi-professional from the looks of a few) to bumrush a clothing store in downtown wearing trademark gold Hammer pants.  And the rest you just have to see for yourself.  Well played ladies and gentlemen…well played.

Some Friday funny for your asses!  Kristy shot me this in an email and I proceeded to laugh like a fool.  Check out new three-man machine Rich Digga.  Now the front man is going to be easy to spot.  That’s Donald Faison of Scrubs fame.   But I didn’t realize until the video was almost over than one of other members is Deon Richard, aka “Kenny” from The Cosby Show (ironically nicknamed “Bud” LOL).  Check out “Alien Weed.”  The title is pretty self-explanatory.  I think it’s based on a true story.  I can’t wait to hear more from these guys.

This dropped last week and I’ve been kinda slackin’.  So apologies.  Musically, this is one of the strongest GGR episodes in a minute (not that any of the old ones weren’t, of course).  ALOT of gems put together in a nice little package courtesy of DJ Brainchild.  Meanwhile Phonte uses the podcast to extend some love and congratulations to the other half of Little Brother, newlywed Big Pooh. 

The official verbiage:  In celebration of his brother Big Pooh’s recent wedding, Phonte discusses his third time as a groomsman, how not wearing a wedding ring can build a healthy marriage, and how to use the word ‘bitch’ in a positive way.  Tracklist and download link down yonder.  Spread looooove, da daaaaaaa da.

Dorian – “Be Loved”
Ebrahim – “Tears of Ayanna”
Q-Tip – “Let’s Ride”
Ryan Leslie – “Just Right”
The Dream f/ Kanye West – “Walkin’ On The Moon”
Theophilus London – “TNT”
Trackademicks – “Enjoy What You Do”
J*DaVeY – “Night & Day”
Miguel – “Dig”
J Dilla – “Let’s Take It Back”
Dr Who Dat? – “Kelly Drive”
Freddie Joachim – “Meditation”
Mos Def – “Victory”
Waajeed – “Anything”
Fam-Lay – “Fresh N Driving”
DJ Mitsu the Beats – “Right Here” (Seoul City Remix)
Mayer Hawthorne & The County – “Just Ain’t Gonna Work Out” (Astronote remix)
Little Dragon – “After The Rain” (GB Interpretation)
Esthero – “Superheroes” (Afta-1 remix)
Aaliyah – “Rock The Boat” (Stimulated Remix)
Santana – “Aqua Marine”
Mr. V – “I Can Sing”
Herbie Hancock – “Watermelon Man” (Kenny Dope Club Mix)
Atjazz – “Wind & Sea”
Big Pooh – “Rear View Mirror”

DOWNLOAD | DJ Brainchild & Phonte – Gordon Gartrell Podcast Episode #13

Napoleon Wright II sent this over and I proceeded to almost fall out of my chair laughing. Judging from the hit count on the Vimeo page, I’m super late on this .  Yeah, autotune parodies are rampant on the Internet right now.  Some funny, some not-so-much.  But this one hits REALLY close to home due to my line of work.  Big up to all my web designer / developer ladies and gents out there.  Don’t eat / drink while you watch this or you’ll choke.  Don’t say I didn’t warn you.

I’ve been slippin’ on getting some humor up every now and then. I’ve had this chillin’ in my YouTube favorites stash for a minute now.  And I haven’t watched it in a while up until now.  Suffice to say, I laughed all over again.  I know many men have went down this dark path before only to be disappointed.  It’s time to put a dark, twisted (and exaggerated) spin on things.  This starts off a little slow but make sure you watch the whole thing.  Try not to choke if you’re eating or drinking at the moment.

I didn’t expect this to come around so fast.  No complaints at all.  But with what’s going in the news right now surrounding a very high-profile R&B singin’ couple, I guess it was necessary.  Kinda depressing I know.  But the dialogue is necessary.  Ladies and gents, Gordon Gartrell Radio blesses you with episode #12, aka The (sure-to-be-controversial) Domestic Violence Edition.  DJ Brainchild spins the tracks and Phonte states the facts.  Put your seatbelts on.

Kelis – “Get Along With You”
RZA – “Domestic Violence”
Tanya Morgan – “So Damn Down”
The Beastie Boys – “Root Down”
The Swingle Singers – “Fugue In C Minor (Todd Terje edit)”
Jaffa – “Elevator (The Herbaliser remix)”
Bottom Fly – “Wave #019″
Illa J – “DFTF”
14KT – “Ypsilanti”
8thW1 – “A Fool’s Lullaby (Could It Be)”
Carlitta Durand – “You Got Me (Pt. 1)”
Reggie B & Miles Bonny – “My Sunshine”
Black Harmony – “Don’t Let It Go To Your Head”
Mr. Scruff – “Give Up To Get”
Afta-1 – “Escape”
Koop – “Summer Sun (Markus Enochson remix)”

DOWNLOAD | DJ Brainchild & Phonte – Gordon Gartrell Podcast Episode #12

As I have said in the past, nine times out of ten, some of the most fun stuff I post on here comes via AIM.  Big ups to my homegirl Thieny over in Bay Area (who just found out I had a blog like a few days ago) for hitting me with this.  Say hello to Ely Kim, a man with alot of time on his hands and alot of moves.  He made a little viral video called “Boombox.”  The magic number here is “100.” 

The only thing I wish is that he posted a tracklist because I actually liked the quick snippets of some of these joints.  If anyone knows if a track list exists, holla @ me.  And yes, I watched the entire thing.  You should too.

I’ve been feenin’ just like y’all have.  We haven’t got one of these since October 15th, 2008.  Ladies and germs, I give you the triumphant return of Gordon Gartrell Radio.  As usual, DJ Brainchild spins the tunes and Phonte spits that “real talk” as the kids say these days.  Quick summary for this episode:  Phonte welcomes everybody to the New Year by discussing the Inauguration of Barack Obama, the rigors of rap beef, and his wishes for 2009.  Sounds good to me.  Download link after the tracklist.  Enjoy.

DJ Day – “Four Hills”
Daru & Rena – “Things You Do”
Ed O.G. & The Bulldogs – “Bug-A-Boo”
Shawn Jackson – “Fix Ya Face”
Sa-Ra – “High Life”
Portishead – “Lot More”
Bjork – “I Miss You” (Dobie’s Sunshine Mix)
Apple Juice Kid – “A Different Blues”
Fat Jon – “Tell Me”
The Foreign Exchange – “Take Off The Blues”
Ron Browz – “Pop Champagne”
Q-Tip – “Dance On Glass”
Hueston Independent Spit District – “Jus Sayin”
Hi-Gloss – “You’ll Never Know”
The Whispers – “Keep Your Love Around”
Carl Anderson – “Buttercup”
Jermaine Jackson – “Where Are You Now”
Prince – “My Love Is Forever”
Joey Negro presents The Sunburst Band – “Every Day”
Made In Japan – “The City At Night”
Musiq Soulchild – “Until”
The Pharcyde – “She Said” (Jay Dee remix)
Cunninlinguists – “Yellow Lines”
Theophilus London f/ Jesse Boykins III – “Cold Pillow” 

DOWNLOAD | DJ Brainchild & Phonte – Gordon Gartrell Podcast Episode #11

The gang at College Humor are FOOLS for this one.  Yeah this is nine months old, so what?!  I’m pretty sure anyone will laugh pretty hard at this just for the non-stop comedy in this.  But for anyone that watched Transformers and Go-Bots back in the day (I watched both in equal amounts), you will find it especially guffaw-inducing.  Poor Leader-1, aka The Rodney Dangerfield of transforming cartoon robots.

The home FWMJ threw this out on Twitter recently and I proceeded to crack up so loud that the folks at my job thought I was losing my mind. It’s silly shit like this that makes my day.  Looks like I’ll be visiting The Stranger forums more often now just off the strength of this one entry.

Shouts to the homie Ant over at Be Easy Worldwide, where I spotted this.  I don’t wanna spoil it, so just hit play.  If you’re anywhere where you will get in trouble for laughing out loud (like work or a library or some crap like that), I suggest you wait ’til you’re somewhere more private.  And be ready to send to everyone you know.  You should already be snickering from the title of this post alone.

It’s been a little while (due to Little Brother tour obligations), but the Gordon Gartrell podcast is back in effect!  DJ Brainchild is back with some stupid fresh tunes and Phonte as always with his refreshing wit and commentary.  And ladies and gents, this is the long-awaited Black Coffee Edition.  Tay counts down some of the most exquisite-looking dark-skinned thangs to ever grace your retinas.  Amen to that.  The tracklist is below and the download link comes right after.

The Randy Watson Experience – “Tic Tac Know!”
The Cool Kids – “Delivery Man”
FDR – “Puff Puff Pass”
Erykah Badu – “The Healer”
Digable Planets – “Dial 7 (Axioms Of Creamy Spies)”
Bill Withers – “Kissing My Love”
Lloyd Charmers – “I’m Gonna Love You Just A Little Bit More”
Black Milk – “Purple Track 6″
Robert Glasper – “J Dillalude” (Simon S Extended Edit)
Madlib – “Ashby Road”
Nicolay & Kay – “Through The Wind”
Georgia Anne Muldrow – “Runaway”
Reggie B – “It Gets Better”
Houston Independent Spit District f/ Khimmy J – “Recess”
Towa Tei f/ Viv & Bahamadia – “Happy”
Mr. Dalvin – “Get Mine”
Ralph Tresvant – “When I Need Somebody”
Madlib – “Chops & Thangs”
Phoenix – “Congratulations”
Dwele – “Light Skin Sugar”
DJ Premier – “Dink”
The Clifford Gilberto Rhythm Combination – “Soulbath”
DJ Krush – “Beats”
Lakeside – “Something About That Woman” 

DOWNLOAD | DJ Brainchild & Phonte – Gordon Gartrell Podcast Episode #10

My homie Pete sent this to me via AIM last week and I laughed through the entire thing.  It happens to be one of my favorite videos ever and now I’ll never be able to watch it the same.  And I mean that in a flattering way. 

I’m just gonna lift the YouTube description verbatim because it explains everything:  “Ever wish songs just sang what was happening in the music video? Well now they do.”  ROFL @ the 2:29 mark:  “IS THIS YOUR HOUSE?!”   

There’s absolutely no way I could not post this.  And since I just recently returned from celebrating my own “dirty 30″ in Las Vegas, it makes it that much cooler. 

To celebrate their 30-year anniversary, Diesel will be throwing a party in 17 different countries.  To promote such an undertaking, Diesel unearthed some 1970′s-era adult film, borrowed a little inspiration from a hilarious little site called SFW Porn (SWF = “safe for work” for those of you slackin’ on your net slang) and created the instant classic viral video above.  Pure genius if you ask me.

All the photos I’ve been using over and over were getting kinda stale so I whipped up the little e-poster you see above.  Feel free to use the hell out of it.  I recycled an old flyer for a party that Brainchild and Phonte did in Brooklyn following a Little Brother show.  The “cheese eggs & grits” slogan might need some work though.  Anyway, it’s Wednesday and episode #9 of Gordon Gartrell Radio is upon us.

It has been labeled The Birth Control Edition and the description goes a little somethin’ like this:  In this week’s edition, Phonte discusses the trials and tribulations of parenthood and explains why you really don’t wanna know how many sexual partners your s/o has had. 

This one should be interesting.  Link after the tracklist.  Enjoy.

Pete Rock – “Don’t Be Mad”
Sleepy’s Theme – “Choked Out Saturday Night”
Outkast – “Elevators (Me & You)”
Digital Underground – “Oregano Flow” (Gumbo Soup Mix)
Be Rezell – “Blowed Away”
Timbaland & Magoo – “Written Rhymes”
Jodeci – “Can We Flo?”
Brentford All-Stars – “Greedy G”
Alan Hawkshaw – “Mile High Swinger”
Sly & The Family Stone – “Positive”
The Rimshots – “Harvey Wallbanger”
The JB’s – “Hot Pants Roads”
Maceo & The Macks – “Cross the Track (We Better Go Back)”
Kool & The Gang – “Funky Stuff”
Illa J – “We Here”
Coultrain – “Green”
Hueston Independent Spit District – “No More”
Owusu & Hannibal – “Delirium (Up Hygh remix)”
DJ Quik – “Down Down Down”
Shonie – “Come & Get It”
Platonic – “877″
Theo Parrish – “The Rink”
Samon Kawamura – “You Are the Only One”
The Randy Watson Experience – “Knocking At Your Door”
The Foreign Exchange – “Daykeeper”

DOWNLOAD | DJ Brainchild & Phonte – Gordon Gartrell Podcast Episode #9

HUMP DAAAAAAAAAY!  DJ Brainchild and Phonte back up in that ass crizzack one mo’ gin with Gordon Gartrell numero ocho.  I have absolutely no idea why I started this post like that.  Maybe it’s because I got to use my favorite Brain / Tay photo again (see above) and it has put me in a raucous mood.

Anyway, the breakdown:  “This week Phonte discusses how John McCain has officially ethered himself, the failure of the American education system, and uncovers a lost duet between Keith Sweat and Aaron Hall.”  PLEASE prepare yourself accordingly for that duet.  Link after the tracklist.

Phonte – “I Wanna Do Ya Baby”
D.R. – “Hands Down”
Q-Tip – “Gettin Up”
Jesse Boykins III – “Tabloids” (Machinedrum remix)
Dwele – “Feels So Good”
Spon f/ P.K. The Gift – “Tango Flo”
The Randy Watson Experience – “Electric Circus”
The Randy Watson Experience – “Paisley Rain & Purple Pancakes (aka Nigga I Ate Shrimp In Studio B)”
The Herbaliser – “It’s Just For You”
RJD2 – “Caged Bird”
James Pants – “Good Things”
Pete Rock – “That’s What I’m Talking About”
Mary J. Blige – “You Bring Me Joy”
Slum Village – “Fall In Love”
Robert Strauss f/ Ritchie Henessey & Chris Rouse – “Rhythm of Life” (Yoruba Soul Mix)
Capitol A – “Serve It Up” (Starship remix)
Zo! f/ Tiffany Paige – “Inertia”
Domu presents Pete Simpson – “Play This Song”
DJ Vadim – “Theme from Conquest of the Irrational” (The Prunes remix)
S1 – “Be Sure”
FS Green – “Chancletas”
Fat Jon – “Tell Me”
Samon Kawamura – “How Long?”
Erik Rico – “Today”

DOWNLOAD | DJ Brainchild & Phonte – Gordon Gartrell Podcast Episode #8

My homie Melanism gets the super-duper big up for sending me this.  It single-handedly made my day.  I’m still trying to figure out the benefit of signing up for Twitter.  Is it really just for updating folks on what you’re doing every waking second of the day?  Ehhh, no thanks.  I know it’s the era of mass social networking but a nice amount of privacy will never go out of style.

However, whoever is behind this Twitter feed is a bonafide genius and should be applauded.  DISCLAIMER:  If you didn’t watch G.I. Joe back in the day, 90% of the material is gonna go right over your head.  For you nerds like me, prepare to literally LOL a few times.